Jokes

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John: Doctor, doctor, I think Iím a goat.      

        Doctor: How long have you been feeling like this?
                       John: Ever since I was a kid.   

Whatís an Aliens favourite bar?
  A Mars bar.

Which famous mouse once stared as a reindeer in a Disney Cartoon?
Mickey Moose.

What would you call a Crazy Duck?
  Quakers.

 

Stephen:Doctor ,doctor, I have only 59 seconds to live.
  Doctor: Well sit down and wait a minute.

Stephen: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains .
Doctor: Well pull yourself together man.

Auntie, Auntie, when are you going to do your trick?
  What trick is that dear?
        Daddy says you can drink like a fish.

Whatís worse than finding a worm in your apple
  Finding half a worm in your apple.

Why did the girl put her hand on the clock?
To feel the time going.

What position does Dracula like to play in football?
Between the ghoul-posts.

Where do ghosts like to go on holiday?
The Costa del Soul

What would you call a laughing motorbike?
A Yamaha ha!

Knock Knock ,whoís there?
Lettuce,                                          
       Lettuce who? 
       Let us in!

Why did the skeleton cross the road ?
  Because he didnít have the guts

What do you call two banana skins? .
A pair of slippers.

Did you hear about the man who damaged his health drinking milk?
The cow fell on him!!

Teacher:Who was the first woman on earth.
Niamh: Can I, have a hint Miss.
       Teacher: Yes think of an apple
     
Niamh: The first woman was Granny Smith

John: Teacher do you think itís right to punish someone for something that they didnít do 
Teacher: Most definitely not !
       John: Thatís a relief, I did not do my homework.

Girl : Teacher gave out to me today because I didnít know where the Pyramids were.
Father: Well you should remember where you put things.

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldnít control her pupils.

What did the priest say when he saw insects on his roses?
  Let us spray.

Why did the golfer change her shoe?
Because she got a hole in one.

What did Neptune say when the sea ran dry?
I havenít an noction.

Whatís long and narrow thick and thin cock your leg and stick it in ?
A Stocking.

What flies high runs low wears boots out and has none?
A Football.

Why did the cow wear a bell?
Because her horns werenít working

What did the pin say to the balloon?
Come here or Iíll burst you.

All the jokes have been collected by Sixth Class

Do you have any jokes? We would love to hear from you with your jokes.

 

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